"you ain't no weeble wobble!"

Guys, I dunno.

Does anyone else find 'not knowing' enTIREly frustrating? Did anyone else grow up constantly asking questions throughout scary movies while your best friends groaned and wondered why they even invited you to the 7:30pm showing of 'Bless the Child'? That movie was terrifying, by the way. And not just because of Kim Basinger's face. And not just because of Kim Basinger's face PLUS the fact that she would follow up with Eight Mile and somehow actually get good press for it.

(I saw Eight Mile in a theater in Midland, Ontario. I was the obnoxious seventeen-year-old laughing at the more dramatic parts, especially when Rabbit's mom -played by our aforementioned heroine- gets mad AND sad at the same time. Shit's hilarious.)

So wait, nobody else ever worried about being in the pool alone because of fresh-slash-chlorine-tolerant sharks? Is it weird that I've been talking about sharks a lot lately? Is it weird if a person THINKS a lot about squirrels but TALKS a lot about sharks?

Cuz if you think of how cute squirrels are, it makes perfect sense to ALWAYS think about them. In Toronto you can get just about any squirrel to come up to you if you make the right noise and ACT like you're holding a peanut. I feel like I'm pandering. Last thought on squirrels: how are they EVER fat?

Initially I had something insightful to say but sometimes it's just best to be honest when there's nothing but decade old glitter-glue and the theme song from Step by Step on repeat in your squirrel-food-sized brain.

Did that feel like five minutes you'll never get back? I'm counting it as a victory.


xo Chomps

this one's for the lovers...of bread.

I ain't got shit to talk about.

That's never stopped me before though.

So it's Friday night, but I have to be up tomorrow morning for stupid o'clock which has determined this evening's line up:

1. two, count 'em TWO loads of laundry.
2. this episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
3. two Heinekens.

Before you get all Josie Grossie Loser stampy on my forehead, hear me out.

1) Every bra I own is going to be ZESTfully clean. If you don't think this is awesome, I don't even care. Because it beats all of your dirty bras by like a zillion.

2) THAT EPISODE OF FRESH PRINCE IS F*CKING AMAZING. Tatyana Ali is literally dressed like Peaches Geldof (who I hate, and so should you) but it's so much better because she's Ashley Banks and it's the 90's and seriously, imagine if you got to work on that show back then? How did anyone get any acting done? I'd have craft services provided beverages spraying out of my nose reg-u-lare-ly.

3) These are to accentuate the warm fuzzy happiness of both clean bras and remarking fondly on my childhood in front of the basement rec room tv that used to be encased in an immovable wooden dresser (remember those? my friend Nick had one up until last year, it was brilliant) with fake drawer handles. They are doing their job. The beers, I mean. Beers? Beer? I hate plural rules. Plurals?

Kloveyouguysbye

Chomps