READY? LET'S GO.
10. House Fly - black turtleneck, black pants, black bra on your face. Bra must be of the under-wire variety. I haven't tested this out, but it FEELS successful as an idea. You need wings for this one too because otherwise you'll just end up looking like an underwear-sniffer.
9. Underwear Sniffer
8. a Quilt - there's two ways to go about this one. Step one: drape quilt over shoulders. Step two: find bed at party and use quilt to sleep under. People are gonna be jealous, you've got my blog-antee. That's a blog guarantee. It's worth almost nothing.
7. Occupy Wall Street - Carry a sign that reads 'we are the 99%', and when people ask you "the 99% of what?" you can say whatever you want! "The 99% of the AWESOME AT THIS PAAAAARTTYYYY!!!! WOOOOOO!" It might be insensitive, but so am I.
6. Drunken Mess - nobody ever thinks to go as this, and yet everybody always ends up as this. Can we cut out the middle man, por favor?
5. Shooting Star(s) - roman candles. Done.
4. Lord Voldemort - black cloak, white face make-up, roman candles. Done.
3. Amy Winehouse dressed as Steve Jobs dressed as Randy Savage.
2. Whatever your friend told you they were going as in secret because they didn't want anybody else to steal their idea. Unless theirs is something dumb. Don't go as anything dumb.
and the TOP 'STUME OF TWO THOUSAND AND ELEVENTYHUNDRED?
Bachelorette Party - Picture this: twelve to fourteen women carrying around penis straws, plastic leis and unbelievably ugly homemade t-shirts covered in each other's signatures. Pretend like you have NO IDEA what night it is. The commitment? One of you will barf twice in the washroom, one of you will get in a fight, and one of you will end the night in tears. WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
HAPPY HALLOWIZZLE,
LOVE,
Chomps
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