Never take any of my movie advice. Ever.

So no offense intended or anything but why would anyone EVER want to see a movie based on a true story?

Alive - why? what for?

Titanic - waste of my 12-year-old lawn-cutting allowance. You wanna see a movie about a boat? Watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Bitch could drive, fly, AND float.

Erin Brockovich - this movie will take you three days to watch and in the end you're like "so wait, Julia Roberts is in this and she's a lawyer or something but she's dressed as 'Pretty Woman' Julia Roberts. But, she's acting like 'Pelican Brief' Julia Roberts. My brain feels all splodey."

Changeling - Angelina Jolie. Blah blah blah.

127 Hours - Guys. Guys. You KNOW what happens. How is that entertaining? If I've got a choice between a movie where I know some dude saws off his own limb in a desert, or a movie I've seen a billion times anyway because it's got major re-watchable merit based on hilarity alone (let's use the WOULD-BE 2010 Oscar nominee for Best Picture if I had my way, Seventeen Again), why would you choose the bone-sawing one? Google that guy and peep his lack of a forearm and move on with your life.

Honestly. I'm not just saying this because tonight I spent two hours adding my own commentary to the first installment of the High School Musical franchise, which is one of the most unpredictably ridiculous movies of any past, present or foreseeable future generation, buuut I AM just saying it because of that too.

GO WILDCATS