Don't ask and you're probably still going to receive...cuz it's my day off.

HAAAAAAAAY!

I haven't verbed the noun 'blog' in liiike four weeks. Here are some reasons why:

1. Inspiration to yammer on about almost nothing in particular is fleeting.

2. Most of the inspired yammering I've been doing this summer is through my mouth on to unsuspecting friends and family. It occurs to me now that an online reader is less likely to walk away or slap me in the pie-hole so maybe it's better this way.

3. I'm busy! Okay? Enough with the texts and the phone calls and the other stuff that would happen if people were bothering me to write something. I've got sandwiches to eat and jokes to laugh at!

So there's all of those. Then there's the illicit stuff I can't tell you about because it would incriminate the company in its entirety and we'd have to offer up Ken's beard for bail money (because his chin follicles are genetically modified to produce a small portion of diamond dust in every burly facial strand) and probably sell Eric for a couple packs of cigarettes that we could hide the miniature pick-axes required to peck our way out of the dimly lit cell that we'd line with pin-ups of...of...Smurfette.

Smurfy, smurfy Smurfette. The first two adjectives were 'sexy' and 'easy'.

The above reason is slightly improbable, knowing that they'd never put a female in a prison cell with three other males. Or the same prison. Other than that it'd probably go down that way. Especially the Smurfette part.

I will tell you what's comin' up though. Our friend, my co-blogger and hetero life partner/confidante Mel Smith is getting married this month. I'll be standing up there with her while she makes some really amazing promises to her wonderful husband-to-be and then all of us are going to drink and eat until bail from Ken's chin becomes a very real ass-saving device once again. Keep in mind Andrew's coming as my date so please expect to see some photos of me trying to force feed him all of the foods he's allergic to. WHEN I *WEDDING-PARTY, I **WEDDING-PARTY HARD.

Other than that, have a ridiculously awesome Labour Dabour. Or Labor Dabor if you can't spell.

Chomps

*I've never been in a wedding party before so this statement is just anticipatory.

** Anticipatory WITH A CHANCE OF HARDNESS.