What to do when you, the consumer have decided to enter an LCBO on the Thursday night before a long weekend:
Do expect there to be a long wait in line. It's an LCBO on a Thursday night before a long weekend.
Do NOT huff and puff behind me when you realize you chose the 'slow' line. THIS JUST IN, D-NOZZLE: YOU CAN GO STAND IN WHAT YOU CONSIDER TO BE THE FAST LINE. We are not bound by our decisions about line-standing. We are not caged in by these choices and I don't actually like that I can feel your breath on my neck.
Do have friendly pre-Canada Day conversation with your fellow line bystanders.
Do NOT try to win people over to your side by saying that the cashiers have their hands up their asses because people who got in a different line after you have already left the store. Also, see previous DO NOT statement. Also, see previous statement about it being the Thursday night at the LCBO before a long weekend.
DO ALWAYS, ALWAYS remember that there are human beings who are standing twenty feet away ringing up your merchandise. They have beating hearts, they have families, feelings, homes that they're heading to after they deal with the mass of Torontonians try'nna get their drink on. You may be a blip on their radar but you sure as shit aren't considering that I'm in front of you and I don't have to treat you with excellent customer service today.
DO feel like an idiot after I tell you to have some compassion for people. DO feel stupid after you tell me that you used to work in the service industry and after I tell you how sure I am that people must have loooved you.
DO drink responsibly and DO have a good long weekend.
Do NOT eff with me.
LOVE!
Chomps
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